Posted by: atri | December 23, 2009

I submitted the grades for 331. I am assuming you can now view your grade via MyUB.

Below the fold are some of the jokes from the final exam. Almost  all of them were funny (though some of them I did not post below as I was not sure it was suitable for a public blog).

Again, it was a fun semester for me. Have a great winter break!

I was impressed by the “entries,” especially given the short amount of time you guys had to writeup up one. Below are some that I liked:

• (John Barker) If algorithms were airlines…
1. Greedy Airlines: Tickets are first come, first serve. You are shown immediately to your seat. You ask why there are so many stopovers but the stewardess only replies “We didn’t know you wanted to go ALL the way to your destination. Where were you headed again?”
2. Divide and Conquer Airlines: Seats are divided into two sections, and those sections are divided into two compartments, and those compartments into smaller ones down to two seats. You are then told to arrange yourselves based on destinations. Your flight was very efficient but there was something about getting half a bag of peanuts that put you off.
3. Dynamic Airlines: Before arriving to the terminal you are asked to fill out large amounts of forms. The stewardess constantly asks you how your flight is going. Your flight seems to go by fast. However, the stewardess stops you before you comment on how large and complex the plane looks.
• (Steven Bennett) There was a boy who loved cookies. He loved them so much that whenever cookies were offered he managed to eat them all, leaving none of anyone else. The boy didn’t have any friends because of this, but he didn’t realize why he couldn’t make friends. He asked the wise man why this happened. The wise man responded “You can’t be so greedy! You must divide the cookies and make sure everyone concurs that your division is fair!”
• (Anonymous) Why did the algorithm run across the road? Because it’s a better runtime than walking.
• (Anthony Consiglio) Why does everyone hate being on a Bad Algorithms relay team? His fastest sprint is $n!$ time!
• (Ryan Coppolo) for (i-1,2){ Ask “Knock”} while (response != “who’s there?”){wait} say “Al” while (response != “Al who?”){wait} say “Algorithms are really fun.”
• (Andrew Cottrell) Two graphs are sitting on a table. One graph says to the other “you look a little down, what’s wrong?” The other graph replies “I’m starting to feel that my goals are a little undirected.”
• (Nicholl Edmondson)
1. What did Usain Bolt say to Dijkstra? My runtime is faster than yours.
2. After Usain Bolt finishes, he says to himself, “pitiful mortals run in $O(2^n)$ time.”
• (Matt General) Allen aspired to be a dancer, so he went to learn the trademark moves from around the world. He learned the Kruskal, the Prim, the Divide and Conquer and even Dynpro. After all his learning and travels he finally returned home. He showed off his moved to everyone who cheered loudly “Al Got Rhythm!”
• (Mike Impson) How can someone possibly come up with a MST that can grow asymptotically faster than $O(m \log n)$? You have to be a (H)Acker() man
• (Matt Key) There are two kinds of students, those who don’t like cats in presentation slides and those who like Dr. Rudra’s teaching style.
• (John Kirchgraber) I think Fibonacci is fun; It starts with a one and a one; then a $2,3,5,8$; but don’t stop there, mate; the fun has just only begun.
• (Anonymous) The run time for HW is $O(n!)$, $n$ being the hours spent in lecture.
• (Tom Messana) Every 331 student wishes they had $O(n^2)$ time to finish test and homeworks.
• (Andrew Murcao) What causes global warming? Greedy Al Gore-ithms.
• (Anonymous) Why’d the duck cross the road? To get to the query
• (Cory Sandor) What did the computer cook for dinner? Fried RAM
• (Eric Schmidt) Knock Knock; Who’s there?; Orange; Orange who?; Orange you glad this course is over!
• (Jacob Tangel) Algorithms are like a Buffalo winter cold and unforgiving. CSE 331 is like a piece of steel very hard
• (Eric Teelak) What did the Gale Shapley Algorithm say to the Interval Scheduling Algorithm? “Why are you so greedy?”
• (Gary Viniette) Determine the algorithm and run time analysis for my happiness and satisfaction in this course given a sorted array of emotions from extremely pleased. Algo: Emotion[]= pleased –> AWFH&LIMN*; Initialize pointer a=0; feelings=emotion[1]; *algorithms will forever hunt & lurk in my nightmares and subconscious
• (Anonymous) Why did chicken cross the road? His algorithm told him it was the shortest path.